You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
