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• (925): View more from California

  I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?

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• (951): View more from California

  I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.

  (1+44): View more from

  When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+27): View more from South Africa

  I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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• (714): View more from California

  I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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• (813): View more from Florida

  You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you should slow down tonight...

  (248): View more from Michigan

  KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...

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