I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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