I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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