you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
