He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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