Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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