I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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