i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize