I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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