Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
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He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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