Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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