I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
