So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
