Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Little spoons don't ask big questions
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
