thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
