susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it glows. i had to have it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
