dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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