I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
