Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
