Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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