it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate