Ambien. No doubt about it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.