We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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