We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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