i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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