how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
