dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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