And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
