honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
