: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
