Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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