Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
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