Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
