you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
