with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
