dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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