Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just threw up on my dentist
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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