she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize