thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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