I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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