Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
