So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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