Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im holly from the hills drunk
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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