real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
