I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
