omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
