Cold hands, warm shart.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
