i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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