I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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