If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
