critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
