the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
