that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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